dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
