Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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