can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
