i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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