capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
