Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
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I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
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I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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