i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
