I hate your face
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
