"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
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