We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
