it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
