have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
