theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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