there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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