i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
