Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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