Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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