we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize