normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
