I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
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I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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