people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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