My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Drake has all the answers
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
