airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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