Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize