What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The air was thick with penises
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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