Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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