I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize