Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
