I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
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im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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