I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
