I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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