8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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