Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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