I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
im holly from the hills drunk
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
