What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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