why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
