Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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