turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
