Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
