i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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