Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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