thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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