we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
