id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
