I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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