Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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