this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
