halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
