they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
