Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
