His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
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my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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