this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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