I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
