I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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