It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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