your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
