one two three fourrrrnication!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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