Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
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hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
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You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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