My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
