thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
